Everyone has periods in their life where they feel like this. But that moment when you wake up from this terrible dream, a beautiful feeling emerges. For me, it was being content. I've been feeling this beautiful feeling for a few weeks now and I've noticed how the underlying feelings of love and gratitude permeate my reality. What you focus on grows. So the more you appreciate what you have in your life, the more things will literally come flooding in. This is a universal principle. As a musician, I see that when I play an A on the D string, it sympathetically vibrates the open A string. If I play the A an octave lower, it still vibrates the open A string. This also sympathetically vibrates the overtones. This is a physical example of the metaphysical phenomenon known as "the law of attraction." Which can also be understood as "like attracts like."
Let me explain how dwelling on the beautiful feeling of contentment has impacted my life:
I've been able to wake up to what I really value in my life (my happiness, my health, and my family). Everything springs from these three important things. The first two could both fall into the category of health (mental and physical health), but I've decided to set them apart because I think happiness specifically, is a really powerful emotion, and following it can literally lead you to the most beautiful life you could ever imagine.
I follow my happiness, and I do what makes me happy and I don't do what makes me unhappy. The interesting part is that I get to ask myself "why does this make me happy/unhappy?" along the way. This enables me to grow as a person, it makes me way more self aware of the thoughts I'm thinking and what beliefs I have about my experience. Becoming conscious about my thoughts and beliefs empowers me because I can consciously choose and create my experience. This brings me a lot of contentment because I know everything is OK and I can feel love and gratitude, but also excitement for my life. I'm not a slave to my thoughts and beliefs, I am the master of Amber. It takes some work, but I love the freedom of creating my experience. And I have a beautiful life.
The second thing I really value is my health. This springs from the fact that I just love, period. I live in my body and it is the vessel I am experiencing life through and I am deeply grateful for my body. I can't honestly say I completely love and accept myself, but self love is definitely a practice I love working on. When it comes to what I put into my body, only the very best will do, and I know that sounds incredibly self centered, but when you pick food that has been organically farmed, you are impacting the world in a really positive way. When you support local farms, when you live a mostly vegan lifestyle, when you choose freshly farmed from the Earth foods, you are literally changing the world one step at a time. The inner world is a reflection of the outer world so "you are what you feed all of your senses," (Infinite Waters Diving Deep). For me personally, there is no price tag on health.
The third thing I really value is my family. I consider my friends family too. I'm definitely a lover though, so let's just throw in all of humanity and the world along with it too. People, living beings, these are the important things in the world. So without excluding anyone, my family and friends are the most important things in my life and I would literally do anything for these people. Time is another thing you can never buy. You can't buy it back, you can't get more of it, once it's gone, it's gone. That is why being with the people you love is so precious. Its not important, its precious. That's an entirely different thing.
So upon my realization of these three most important parts of my life, I realized that I have all of these things. I have them all. And I wouldn't have realized that if I hadn't gone through the darkness. So that is why I am content, I literally love my life. I wake up happy. I love the people I meet. I love what I do. I love to look after my family. I love to look after me. I love my reality because it's a reflection of me. I am in love with my experience of life and magical things happen everyday.